Turtles On Fire

Life is here for no reason at all.It is meant to be LIVED. And what to do with it? Some people know…is this true? Who are the ones that know more than all the rest of us? And Knowledge…once you understand too much it ceases to make any sense. I fear the extremes. Too much of one thing or another, and I fear even the balance, for this must be worked at CONSTANTLY and may lead to madness. I understand Horror. It exists because it has to and is justified, all is justified. Because Life exists, because Life must be LIVED for no other reason than there is nothing else to do. So Life in itself is a horror. It’s almost not beautiful. So then, Death…what is it? Death does not exist for us, some  illusion lays in place of it, because for those of us not ready for it, the reality is not meant to be seen. Why aspire to conquer Death? Why seek it? It is not a way out, as certainly as Life is meant to be lived, then Death is meant to be “Death’ed”. What does this mean? There is only an illusion of God. It exists as a perception. Faith is not to be underestimated, we are the devils, we are the gods. My biggest fear is my own control or lack of control. I want to change. I AM Horror. I am not Death. I do not seek Death, I seek Life, but, Life in itself being the Horror of All Horrors, I surely must be seeking something unhealthy? Murder is fine, God the illusion says. About that, he must be right. It’s fine for the big picture. The Universe may be indifferent, but it all works towards something greater than itself, doesn’t it? I do not know. Men beat the shit out of their wives, their children, their neighbors, themselves, men beat the shit out of each other and it’s ok. If you took the Horror that is inside each and every one of us, if some omniscient, omnipotent power made manifest all the little horrors that comprise our nightmares, deeds, lies, anger, hatred, madness,insanity, indifference, intolerance….but wait: is this not what has been made, what has become? There surely must be something greater at work here. Not God. Not Satan. Is our collective mind the God? The substance, the unseen manifestation of all our energies, emotions, DNA, genetics, compassion,even LOVE? Is THIS God? If we think of Horror, isn’t it right that Horror should necessarily exist? But we think of other things too, don’t we? Yes, we think of trivialities,we ravage our souls and those of others, our own precious souls, looking for the answer. That’s what Murder is. If someone finds out that YOU can’t answer THEIR questions, they will surely annihilate you. So maybe we’ve murdered God, meaning that we’ve committed suicide  again and again across thousands and millions of times across the centuries. Because WE are God, are we not? Well that’s to be argued, and that’s Murder.  Bravery comes in many forms, what to do with it? Kill someone you don’t know in some place you’ve never been and may never come back from, that’s “bravery”. I take no pride in my country. Absolutely none. This land is just as good as any other land. Nationalism is a fool’s delusion. We’re better than you because we’re here and you’re there. And this of course leads to Murder.

To Be Continued…..